Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)
*

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Mom I am Today



Jenine from Badger Momma tagged me for The Mom I am Today meme. To complete this tag, I must share 5 experiences that helped shape me into the mom I am today and tag 5 other moms.

I will try my best to do this.

1. I grew up in an orphanage where all you had was a bed and food most of the times. Nothing was taught on how to share, or love, or forgive, or deal with conflicts etc.
If I sit and reflect on myself I can see where my output whether quiet or loud, can be negative. Therefore I have had to teach myself to do the opposite of what I grew up with.

I was never hugged and so I hug my children as much as it comes to me and this has become easy and wonderful. Same thing goes for kisses and being read to and playing with them and all the wonderful things that a child should get while growing up. I'm not at all perfect at it, but alas with God's help I am learning and getting better.

I have also had to learn how to say 'I love you' to my children enough times. Now my son at age four will , out of the blue, say, 'I love you mom' or ' mom? and I say: yes D . 'I love you mom'. It catches me off guard and it's precious and I notice that many times, I'm tempted to ask, why do you love me. I don't because I know he is being sincere in his childlikeness.

However, I never heard those words from anyone until I met my husband and so they are strange to me but life to my spirit.

2. It's ok to keep my childlikeness. It helps me to be a better mother. If my child did something, I look back and realize that as a child I might have done the very same thing and empathy and grace comes in how I respond to my children in the situation.

3. I never thought I was strong, but being a mother has taught me that because I'm shy, does not mean I'm weak (hence my banner).

4. I was not popular nor unpopular. I was just never easily influenced. I think this will help me to teach my children how to make their own choices and stand strong in their convictions and not easily sway with the crowd. It all passes. Everything has it's time.

5. I have a constant.
When I was with foster parents, I had to go to church for hours. I hated it! I hated sitting in those pews while old people sang and preached forever and a day about fire and brimstone!

But my heart remembered the songs as I grew.

As a teen I resisted going to church as much as I could. I refused to be forced into making a choice for Jesus. I could read and knew that it was a free choice to make and when I was ready! Not when they think I should be ready.

However while at the orphanage, I'd volunteer to go to church on Sundays because it meant that I would ride in a bus out those big heavy gates and see scenery for miles until we get to church.

I was outside those gates. I could dream. I might even run away(of course I didn't. I didn't want to starve on the streets or get myself raped). I got to see other people and smell different things and eat different food. And sit in those pews for hours, but tis but a small price to pay for such a freedom.

I listen to the fire and brimstone and still I refused to be spiritually bullied. I just want my little taste of being outside those walls.

The songs always remain with me.

As I got older, I prayed for each fork in the road I'd have to take in my life. Not down on your knees pray. I'd just tell God like it is.

i.e. While I was in high school (at the orphanage, some children were chosen to attend school), during Summer break, I said to God, well what am I supposed to do now with all these months huh? You better work it out Lord.
Knock my socks off he did! (That would be a longer story to get into)

And so my prayers went (And stick me with a pin, he always come through!) until I finally choose to accept him into my life as Lord and saviour.

So Jesus is my constant and I hope that my children will have this constant.

Now to tagging. Should I use tape? or needle and thread..ok ok ok I'll just get on with it.

Kari @ A Giveaway Addicted Mommy
Alesha @ The Jacobsen Family!
Night Owl Mama
One Chic Mommy 

Jumpin-Beans


post signature

8 comments:

  1. Congratulations...I am happy u got that award. Wow ....I am sure our past has shaped your life for motherhood now.

    You are one good mother.

    ReplyDelete
  2. congratulations on the award. Great insight on where you are today! Popping in from sits

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love this post! What a life you have lived...and are living! Blessings to you and your sweet family:)

    ReplyDelete
  4. What great lessons to pass on to your children!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beautiful words from a beautiful person - inside and out. Beautiful people make great parents. When your heart sings, how can you go wrong?

    I'm glad that your experiences have shaped you into the wonderful person you are today. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing these things with us. I too was shy, I get better the older I get. I agree that being shy doesn't mean weak I know many strong shy women!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a great post!! I feel like I know you just from reading your responses. God is so good to pursue us even when we resist. Praise God for the grace and mercu of the Lord Jesus Christ. Like you, I am one who has received the Lord Jesus by grace through faith!! Hallelujah! WHat a Savior!

    Hey thanks for stopping by and commenting last Friday.I am running late in responding to the kind comments left. I have never been a runner but am just beginning to take it up (I am 55) to increase my endurance and physical stamina. So I greatly admire your goal and hope you achieve it!!

    I am hosting an online Bible study for MOMS beginning Jan. 21. I would LOVE to have you join in. There is no registration and no cost to it. We offer access to 10 45-minute DVDs, downloadable study notes, interaction with other moms, and podcasts of the messages. Check back on my blog for more details. The study is called "Run Well. Finish Strong." We are dealing with how to hand down our faith to our children. Hope you join in!! Blessings.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I really enjoyed reading this section of your blog. I am also happy to have this opportunity to visit your blog on a more relaxing occasion.

    ReplyDelete

I appreciate your thoughts - Colette

Related Posts with Thumbnails