Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)


Bullying - Another child hurt my son

We all have to deal with bullying at some point.
This is such an important part of life for us parents and I hope we are taking this seriously. Because we know very well that our kids don't always choose wisely when they are away from our eyes and ears.

A few weeks ago I went to the park with my son who is four years old and my daughter who was two then. She just turned three. The kids in our family are on the bigger and taller so my four year old son looks like a 6 or 7 year old boy etc. 

The other kids will play with him according to this age group, thinking he is their age. I often have to tell these children that he is still a toddler really and he isn't as articulate or even know what they are referring to with certain speech and also certain play isn't for him. 

I was at the park when these two boys came up to play on the slide. They kept talking to me about their toy bikes and men that they got from walmart at a very cheap price and how I'd like it and blah blah blah. I smiled and interacted with them as kids and all the time finding it odd that kids would just walk up to a stranger and want to hold such a long conversation. They kept coming back to talk to me about their little toys and I'd indulge and say the appropriate thank you etc. 

My son was playing on the slide, and saw the boys and started to play with them by throwing the ball up to the slide and they'd throw it back down. My son loves to have the ball race down the slide after him or he chase it down the slides.

One of the boys (I think these boys were between 7-8-9) at one point threw the ball down with such force that it hit my son and he kept saying, that's what you get, that's what you get. I thought , surely he is playing. But now I'm sharpened to the situation. My son not realizing anything is amiss, threw the ball back up and then went up to slide down and catch his ball. 
After a few up and down slides with this ball in play. Just as my son reached the end of the slide, one of those little...boys threw the ball in my son's face and kept laughing. 

Oh I was over there in a flash! (My son had started wincing and bursting into tears). I think I acted better than I wanted to. I wanted to grab those boys and twist them like pretzels! Or haul them by their ears to their missing parents! 

I took the ball from the boy (Yes he went to pick up the frigging ball that bounced off my son's face that he had threw, maybe coming back from another shot) and I said to him. See this ball? You don't touch it again and did you see that you hit my son in the face with the ball? Now if I see you around my son again for today, I will twist you like a pretzel! Both of you and you better be going on to your parents before you regret coming to this side of the playground to play bullies! 

Oh I was so pissed. Oh I was so pissed. Oh...ok you get the point. 

I gathered my son and soothed him while those little boys went on their way and I was there for four more hours and never saw them again! 

I explained to my son about bullies and that if ever anyone hurt him, he should come right away to mommy and let me know etc etc as how you can speak to a four year old about such matters. 

All this took place in a matter of minutes. I was shocked and to be honest I'm still pissed, so many weeks after. 

Why do parents not keep an eye on their children? How can you not know most of what your child is doing and are capable of? 

I do not know if these two boys were brothers or friends, but do you even know who is influencing your children? 

The park is NOT a free babysitting system where you just drop them off and let them go wild and not even care what happens to them or what they are doing. 

And bullying in any form is NOT acceptable! NOT and I will stand up for my child and next time I might not be so nice to another child who is a bully!!! 

And surprising there were two other moms standing right there watching this unfold and the only time they said anything was after I dealt with the little boys, saying, good job and all that. blah blah blah. What if I wasn't there looking? And seriously what if it was their child? 

So take a look at this post by Kailani and get involved! Get involved please! 

E! Investigates Bullying Airs on April 21st

Whenever it's your child or not. Get involved! 

And some links that are helpful for us. 

About the author:
Owner of JamericanSpice. Sharing my journey in the present, from the past or thoughts for my future. Mom of two who loves to travel and read and decipher people.

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  1. Just reading this made my blood boil! Seriously...ARGH. I've been training my older son (and his baby bro too) since he could talk to tell me EVERYTHING that happens to him. I don't care if it's a child or an adult, if he's being wronged I. Want. To. Know. About. It. I also I am very clear I will not have him acting like a bully either. What's wrong with our world that a kid can be bullied to the point of committing suicide. I read that horribly sad story on and it broke my heart. We have tough days ahead for our children. Stay strong Mama.

  2. I am sorry this happened to you. Your son is lucky you were there. The boys sound out of control.

  3. Bullying has always been a problem and it needs addressed properly.

  4. I am so sorry that it happened to your son. That's just not right that they were there unsupervised like that. You're such a good mom, and I'm glad you were there!!!!

  5. I had something similar happen when my oldest was about 3. In my case, the mom was right there but said nothing the first time here child pushed my son down. I was willing to give the other kid the benefit of the doubt the first time he pushed my son but, the second time, I yelled at the at the little sh*t who pushed my son down. Later, as the mom and the little sh*t were leaving, she said (in a very snooty voice), "I don't yell at my son and I certainly don't expect someone else to either." All I could think was "And that's why you'll be bailing him out of jail when he is 16."

    Bullying sucks and it doesn't get any easier to deal with when it happens to an older kid.

  6. Bullying is just flat-out wrong! The thing we need to contend with here is cyber-bullying. Not a pretty picture...

  7. Quinnschilling@gmail.com4/20/10, 8:41 PM

    What an awful experience! I am glad you were able to protect your son. My daughter is tall for her age and I know what you mean about people assuming your child is older. I hope those kids learned a lesson.

  8. This makes me angry just hearing about it. I think you handled it well. I too have no tolerance for bullying, especially in the classes I taught. I hope those boys learned a lesson.

  9. I am sorry that you and your baby had to experience this. Just keep putting the message out there that bullying is unacceptable ... on the cover of people this week is a photo of a pretty girl who took her own life because of bullying ... sadly this happens all too much.

  10. Hi Colette.

    Thanks for checking into my blog and leaving a comment. On anger funnily enough.

    Good on you! Trouble is we take it out on the kids and they definitely need reprimanding, but wouldn't you just love to throttle the parents?

    @Kristin My blood's boiling too after reading your comment aswell as Colette's post.

    We sure do have to speak up and stand up for our children and protect others kids, too.

  11. so sorry to hear that you had to deal with this...
    hugs to you... and your son

  12. I just finished taking a class on anti-bullying. Unfortunately, those 2 boys will go on to bully again. What you've done is to make sure that your son knows that you will protect him if the something like that would ever happen again. I am so sorry that you had to experience something like that.


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