Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)


A Touch Means So Much

I grew up without being hugged at all (At least since I can remember myself as a four year old child). I'm sure this has affected me alot and sometimes I can see it, however God must have worked a miracle with me, because I'm a hugger! I love hugging and kissing my children. The affection that comes out towards them, surprises me sometimes.

I notice, however, that my affections come easily for my children and not so much for my husband. I think I have an idea why and I'm hoping that it wont always be this way. 
So the person that needs a hug from me today is my husband since the kids will have had many! 

Did you come from a hugging family? How did that affect you? How does it affect your parenting? What family member needs a hug from you today?

A Touch Means So Much

by Barbara Rainey

They were bringing children to Him so that He might touch them.
Mark 10:13

One of the biggest needs of your children--no matter what their age--is for physical touch. Regular hugs, kisses and hand holding all say to them, "You are loved." 

When your children are little, make sure they have lots of time in your lap to cuddle. Hug them for no reason at all. But also be sure to create special traditions of affection each day, like bedtime kisses and good-morning hugs.
Arriving at home after a day of work or an afternoon of running errands offers another great opportunity to give affectionate touch. When our children were smaller, we turned these greeting times into "The Bear Hug Routine." Dennis would get near Deborah, for instance, and say, "Do you want a baby bear hug, a mama bear hug or a daddy bear hug?" Our children would usually work through all three, amid shrieks of laughter. Even today, they still smile when he asks if they or especially their children want a bear hug. The tradition of affection goes on. 

Teenagers and adult children, too, need our loving touch. I remember reaching out to hug Benjamin--his growing frame towering over mine, his emerging beard feeling scratchy on my face. I hugged him quickly, let go and tried to step back, only to be pleasantly surprised when he held on tight. He seemed to be saying, "I may look grown up, I may look like I don't need it, but don't stop. I still love it when you hold me." Does your relationship with your children have some catching up--some touching up--to do? 

Did you come from a hugging family? How did that affect you? How does it affect your parenting? What family member needs a hug from you today?

Pray that you will never withhold any expression of love your child really needs.

About the author: Owner of JamericanSpice. Sharing my journey in the present, from the past or thoughts for my future. Mom of two who loves to travel and read and decipher people.
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  1. I did not come from a hugging family, but my husband did. I am big into hugging my husband and son. My husband is not a bigger hugger. I hug him anyway. JDaniel is a big hugger. I hope he stays that way.

  2. I am a very huggy mom, but I'm not a huggy person outside of my family. It'll be interesting to see what my kids are like as they get older.

  3. I didn't come from a hugging family. I knew what I was missing though and made a promise to do it differently with my kids.

    Funny, now they are a bit older and we never hug anymore, and I think they think I am a nuisance actually. I don't know, I would like to go back to when I ws teh world to my girls.

    I think hubby didn't come from huggers either, but we are different, he is very affectionate, probably based on shared feelings of belonging). Can't say for sure.

  4. I came from a sort of hugging family. My dad was more the hugger than my mom. With that in mind I've been more conscience of hugging my children more and just being with them more. It has been good for them and myself. I loved the article by Barbara Rainey! :)

  5. My moms parents were not very huggy and I think that's why she hugged and kissed all over us. My sister and I are very huggy to our husbands and kids. And our children are to us. My husband is very huggy to. He always hugs and kisses each one of us before he leaves for work and when he comes home. The kids love to crawl up in our laps.

  6. My family growing up was a very affectionate family with hugs and snuggles coming freely. We are still like that to this day. Luckily, my husband's family was/is the same way.

    Hugs and love and snuggles flow freely at out house today and all our boys are huggers.

  7. Love this post! I can't imagine being in a household that doesn't hug. Our entire family (both sides) are very loving, huggy people. I even hug my friends when I see them. Such a nice feeling.

    Thanks for stopping by my blogs and following! :)

  8. I love hugging my kids. My parents didn't hug all the time but I vividly remember warm hugs from my mother.
    I love hugging my kids I think I'll keep doing it even they get middle aged. Hubby and I hug each other all the time. Although, I have to admit he is more of a hugger than I am:)

  9. My family is big on hugs, and I worried when I introduced my husband to my family that he would be uncomfortable... But he loved it! He didn't come from a very affectionate family and loved that mine was.
    I'm glad you are good about it with your children. Keep working on it with the hubs!


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