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Monday, February 21, 2011

Are Your Children Being Bullied?

My five year old baby boy came home one day and during our little talks he said: 'Mommy some boys in my class are bullying me in the bathroom when I go pee. They are laughing at my bottom and saying it's stinky." 
I know that my son doesn't smell and he know this too, but those words hurt my son and especially that all these boys were laughing at him. 

I asked my son, so what did you do baby? He said, "Mom I didn't know what to do and it just made me cry." I could picture my son just standing there looking at these boys and crying. 

He is my baby. He is from a loving home. There is not much to defend here in the life of a 5 year old. He is so sweet with his sister. 
How would he learn that he need to have to defend himself? 
bullying prevention
I explained how some kids make poor choices to be mean and what can happen when teachers are not around and steps he can take to protect himself. I also reminded him that when anyone tries to hurt him, or he sees another child being hurt, that he must tell his teacher or an adult. 

I wrote a note to the teacher and explained what my son had told me. They usually encourage parents to go to the teacher first. 
She wrote back that she had spoken to the boys in his class and hopefully it will not happen again. She also told my son to go into a bathroom stall and use the toilet with the door closed, instead of the urinal. 
Why does my son need to do this? 
But for him, I will accept it, if he wont be humiliated. 

It makes me angry and my son who doesn't understand mean kids, have to be subjected to this kind of behavior. 

And don't tell me it's a little thing. These days, it's not a little thing anymore. This is how it starts and how it gains momentum. 

I will defend my child. I will teach my child to defend himself.  I will not tolerate bullying from my children or any other child. 

The sad part is, it had happened before , but my son had forgotten to mention it. Some children just don't even mention it out of fear. 

The bullying epidemic is killing children, families, relationships. Let's show our support and help stop this in it's tracks! 


Join Pink Shirt Day February 23, 2011
Wednesday February 23,2011 wear something pink to show your support. Stand up against bullying and let the bullies know that we as a group stand united and we won’t tolerate bullying ANYWHERE.

The Pink Shirt Day idea was inspired by two 17 year old  Nova Scotia high school students who organized a high school protest wearing pink in support and sympathy with grade 9 student who was being bullied.

Quote from Globe & Mail:

“David Shepherd, Travis Price and their teenage friends organized a high-school protest to wear pink in sympathy with a Grade 9 boy who was being bullied…[They] took a stand against bullying when they protestedd against the harassment of a new Grade 9 student by distributing pink T-shirts to all the boys in their school.


‘I learned that two people can come up with an idea, run with it, and it can do wonders,’ says Mr. Price, 17, who organized the pink protest. ‘Finally, someone stood up for a weaker kid.’

So Mr. Shepherd and some other headed off to a discount store and bought 50 pink tank tops. They sent out message to schoolmates that night, and the next morning they hauled the shirts to school in a plastic bag.

As they stood in the foyer handing out the shirts, the bullied boy walked in. His face spoke volumes. ‘It looked like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders,’ Mr. Price recalled.

The bullies were never heard from again.”


Lets get together and STOP BULLYING FOREVER.






About the author: Owner of JamericanSpice. Sharing my journey in the present, from the past or thoughts for my future. Mom of two who loves to travel and read and decipher people.
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12 comments :

  1. That hurts my heart that they would do that to your sweet son. :(

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  2. DAM! People just don't think much less kids! Man, I mean... I don't know what to say I'm so frustrated. Sheesh! DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE! I don't bully so to speak never have, but I do stand up for what's right, always did! I remember this bully going after my daughter & I went to school (pregnant & all), and when this little twit seen me she showed her true colors YELLOW! She thought she lost me around the corner when she ran, but I was standing right behind her when she turned around & marched her sorry butt right to her house! ANYWAY HUG YOUR NEIGHBOR DAY - THIS ONE GOES OUT TO YOUR DARLING BOY! YOU'VE BEEN HUGGED! Callie please stop at my blog tomorrow I have something for you!

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  3. that is just horrible! my friends step-son is being bullied and it doesnt stop there! my friend is bullied at work and shes an adult!! it needs to stop!

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  4. Colette, you are right: it's not a little thing. Never was; it was just treated that way in years past. First, it should not be tolerated -- the victim should not be made to change his behavior, rather the bully should.

    I.E.: your son should not have to go into the stall.

    Second, is it an incident or a pattern? The boys who are bullying are at risk to continue on this ever more destructive path if they are not corrected in no uncertain terms. They (and all their potential victims) need help now. I hope the teacher has taken appropriate action and follow up.

    Third, bullying is about power and acceptance within a social structure. The whole class needs to learn about appropriate ways to get and give power in relationships. (Obviously put into terms kindergarteners can understand)

    One thing you can be sure of is that it is not (by a long shot) the last time this will come up. I hope you will take this opportunity to read a few children's books on the subject. My current favorite, suitable for kindergarteners is called, "Just Kidding" by Trudy Ludwig.

    As a teacher and a parent, I take careful notice of these trends as they ebb and flow to talk openly about bullying, its hows, wheres, whys. I did role playing exercises with the kids during circle time to pre-empt possible episodes and give the kids a "script" that they would feel confident to follow during this time.

    Colette, if you want to email me your address, I will send you a copy of "Just Kidding."

    Uh, can you tell you've struck a chord here? Thanks so much for this important message, Sweetie. We need it.

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  5. Callie, thank you for the shout out.

    It's heart-wrenching when your child comes home crying after being bullied. Many are too little to understand and to know how to react and protect themselves.

    Some people don't understand that bullying can be done with hurtful words as much as with physical abuse.

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  6. What you told your son was perfect and so true! Sorry he has already experienced this horrible behavior by his peers. My youngest son with Asperger's was bullied horribly from K - 12th grades. Although, the school/state we moved to 5 1/2 years ago did NOT allow it & did take steps against the bullies in his high school years. Made a hugh difference for my son. No one should fear going to school, but my son did at the school back home and it was a Small town, not a hugh school. The hardest part that I realized quickly when my son was still very young like your son, was that most bullies learn the behavior from at least 1 parent. That is why when I tried to deal with the situations myself, that it did no good. These parents did not care, made fun of my son themselves and then their children were usually Worst to me son. Horrible!! How do some people even look at themselves in the mirror?

    Your son is very smart and very lucky to have Wonderful parents like You!!! I hope the school/teacher takes the situation seriously and it Never happens to your beautiful son again.

    Hugh HUG to you my friend!!!
    ~ Coreen xoxoxo

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  7. My heart breaks for your sweet son. Please give him a hug from me.

    I wonder - Did the teacher notified the bullies' parents of their kid's bad behavior? Was an apology ever offered to your son?

    Like you, I don't see why your son has to change his bathroom habits when he is not doing anything wrong. Instead, I think the bullies are the ones with their habits that needs changing. And should start with an apology.

    My son is 4, and will start school very soon. Stuffs like this scares me. I am scared that he will be bullied or worse, that in coping with the bad behavior around him in school, he will be a bully himself.

    And by the way, the Pink Shirt is a great idea! Bullying of any form should never be tolerated.

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  8. My son said some people kids were "making fun" of him at school. I told him that people who make fun of others just aren't very secure with themselves and that they have to put other people down to make themselves feel better. That's a hard concept for a 6 yr. old, but that's what I told him. Some day I hope he understand what I mean by it.

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  9. Colette, I posted about bullying -- an important topic to me -- and put a link to your post. I hope that was o.k.

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  10. Oh my Collette, I am happy that you are a proactive mother. I learned about this from Collette's blog. We are having some tough issues at home with this as well.

    It's hard being a parent, I hope your little one will get through this, I cannot stand letting bullies win.

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  11. that breaks my heart that he has to deal with this...
    kids can be so cruel, at least he has you to help him know right from wrong and that it is not okay to act that way...
    hugs... to all of you for having to deal with this

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  12. Thank you all. I really appreciate your comments and support.

    Angelle, Thank you for sharing. I do appreciate it.

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I appreciate your thoughts - Colette

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