Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)


I Fell In Love Once

My choice to choose Jesus Christ as my saviour was influenced by unsavory christian characters, but alas I still believe it was the best choice of my life. Tis a long story that I will not bore you with just yet. 

However I remember the time I was baptized and how I felt. 

Today our pastor was explaining about this new thing going on in wedding ceremonies these days. He explained how, before the ceremony, there is an arrangement for the bride and groom to meet and the photographer has the opportunity to snap that photo of them meeting for the first time. He explains seeing it, and the setting and how the two people in love, waiting and wanting only each other seem to have a glow about them. At that time they aren't thinking of bills and kids and who should wash the dishes or which way the toilet paper should be rolled. They are only thinking of each other in pure love. 

He goes on to explain that this is how it is at times when one comes face to face with God and begin to want him as saviour. 

I feel it's true. 

When I got baptized. I remember feeling so free. Like a bird. I wanted to sing and dance and it was such immense joy that I tingled almost. I was a poor girl with a very uncertain future and before I choose Christ, I made demands of him to do what was next for me to go on because I didn't know how it would happen. He usually did. 

But that beautiful feeling of being in love with the Lord is one I cannot forget and often I wish to go back and feel it again. 

It lasted for awhile and then faded. Much like a couple in love I'd think. That euphoric feeling fades, but not the love. 
Yes I fell in love once. 

I got to feel that beautiful soaring thing that gives you wings. 

That is what I desire again....

Until then I'll continue to thank God for his blessings and routing of my life. I'm still amazed that I choose him. I didn't do that all on my own. Surely he chose me for his own reason. 

Now that I'm in the throes of a troubled heart again. I'm trying to keep myself calm, depending on him to get me through this and help me grow, even though I just want to act irrational and be done with it. 

When was the last time your heart soared? 

About the author: Owner of JamericanSpice. Sharing my journey in the present, from the past or thoughts for my future. Mom of two who loves to travel and read and decipher people.
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  1. Colette, I know exactly what you mean. I used to work with some of those so-called christians, but I just kept telling myself that satan is all around us and all the more reason to keep the faith! I hope you have a wonderful week!

  2. I had that same feeling when I made profession of faith as a teenager. I was baptized when I was an infant, so naturally I don't remember that. I feel for you with your current turmoil, friend!

  3. I know exactly what you mean. I've gone through these phases when I've even question my faith. Recently I realized that when my emotions are not trustworthy, but God's word always is. So when I have doubts, I try to figure out if there's something that's blocking the connection between ABBA and me and I reflect on his word that tells me that I can not be snatched from his hand. He loves you and he drew you to himself. His word and his love are always true, because he is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE. Peace to you.

  4. It's been so long that I can't even remember the feeling. You are right, the day to day interferes...we get frustrated, overwhelmed and yes even sad. Even the wonderment of life like a new baby (recently we have had two new grandchildren and I got to witness the birth of one---and the other was born way too early and has fought his way to a healthy 8+ pounds from under 2 lbs...a blessing and witnessing grace head on). I have been ill for over 11 years and very nearly not even 10% most days of what I used to be. But the FAITH that the plan is not mine, that the day will come when I will know and understand all of these tests WILL come. Even if at the end of our time here and the reward WILL be flying again with the angels. If it takes a lifetime, that is nothing in comparison to what HE gifts us every. single. day. The pure love? I guess I have to see it in my children, and try to look beyond the whiny teenager, the messy house, the empty checkbook, the confusion of the world, and the daily pain. I know there are others who do not have children, but I cannot imagine the loss of that joy and love that for ME had been my nearly my all, next to Him. So glad I opened the email to get here today! Hope you find your smile and wings again soon:)

  5. I can really say - I need a refresh now and then. With god, with my spouse, with all the wonderful things I have that often gets cold with stress and the daily routines. Nevertheless, your post is a great reminder of how those times felt

  6. Beautiful! I need to read something positive this morning. Thank you for sharing.


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