Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)


He Is One Step Ahead

I knew the husband wanted to attend Christmas Eve services. It's always good to gather together and hear God's message and see a lovely play with your family.

I got the kids ready and sent them out the door.

I wasn't having a good footing with my husband and it was just hard to be in the same vehicle with him and I just did not feel like smiling with anyone. You get those days too right?

I did go by myself. I hate driving at night, but it was a safe trip to the church and I wasn't worried about being late or missing anything. I relaxed and felt alright going alone.

While in church, I chose to stand by the door. Nothing wrong with that as others were too, but I felt not at rest as I did before. Your spirit can tell when things are not well.

It was a lovely play and service and candles were lit as the last song was sung.  The kids came rushing towards me and I gave them the coats I had brought for them because it was cold out and their father hadn't taken their coats, and turned and hurried away to my vehicle.

I was rude. It's never alright with my heart when I'm rude.

While driving home, I prayed and asked for safe travel and for God to help me with my heart so that I would not become bitter or spiteful while I'm hurting.

Not even a mile down the road and a van came out right in front of me. It fish-tailed viciously on the wet street, trying not to lose control, trying not to get hit by me, trying not to hit the person in front of them and trying not to end up in the ditch.

I was not shaken or anything. I had enough space to slow down gently and wait / prayed for the person to be safe.

I have no idea why someone would choose to come out on the street like that with traffic going 50mph on a rainy night.

I hope they made it home safe and I hope that was a good lesson in patience.

But most of all I knew that God was one step ahead of me that night.

Christmas services went much better. I went with my husband and children and we sat together, greet together and worshiped together.
It's how it should be.

Things are still not well with me and my husband, but I'm still praying for a heart that will not be bitter or spiteful.

About the author: Owner of JamericanSpice. Sharing my journey in the present, from the past or thoughts for my future. Mom of two who loves to travel and read and decipher people.
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  1. My heart hurts for you, sweet girl. I will pray for you!

  2. It is good to hear that you were safe. When things are not right, the world just seems less desirable but for things to heal it takes two as well. It has to be what both of you want. Good luck and do the best you can, the rest will be up to God/ him/ fate.


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