Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)


When I Grow Up I Want to be a Dancer

Cathy tagged me and I'm playing along with her. Plus it's been awhile since I've done this.

Thank you Cathy.

I think it will be hard to find 11 things about me. I don't think I"m that interesting outside. And right now I'm in the worse place in my life to find 11 things about me to share with you. However I'm here and I'll share.

1. Right now I'm so sad that I'm forcing myself to die within so other people can be happy. It's the hardest thing to do.

2. I promise myself that one day I'll be free. Like a little girl.

3. I love blogging and refuse to follow the stampede of crush to get to the top. I just want to be me, fun, in this little space.

4. I love almonds. I eat it with everything..well not really, but always with cereal and some soup.

5. I'm trying to find something to help me cope with life. I had my first cigarrette yesterday...or maybe it was the day before, depending too when you'll be reading this. I don't want to elaborate.

6. One day I want to be a dancer.

7. I won a dance competition in a club once. It was my first visit to a club (night club)

8. I'm happy most of the times. It doesn't matter if I"m poor or having a most terrible times. There is joy in me and I can't help to express it and I wonder sometimes how that can happen. I think it's just what God gives me.

9. I'm grateful that I know my mother even though I didn't grow up with her.

10. I have children. They hold me in bondage and they give me life. I love them.

11. I want more children. It's crazy stupid, but I do. You just know when you do.
Ohh nice. I'm done with my 11.

And Cathy's questions for me:

1. What doctor's visit makes you the most uncomfortable?
The OB/GYN. I have to take my clothes off and let a male doctor put his hand, eyes and OMG a flashlight in my vagina...well not everything in there but you know what I mean.

 2. On a scale 1-10 rate your comfort level.
5. I used to be a 2. I've come a long way. I'll get to a 10 sometime and people will still not like me or make me feel like I'm wrong. I've worked so hard to build me and yet every moment I'm forced down to be what everyone else wants me to be. I am trying hard to stay alive as me.

3. Do you prefer a male or female doctor? Why?
I would be much more comfortable with a female doctor. I'm usually more comfortable with females because I grew up with them around me and I've been abused by males and simply do not trust them. It's the most vulnerable thing to be with men, much less to have one as a doctor. I absolutely hate it.  And to say this too. My bones all clench at my male doctor, but he does have such a very good bedside manner that I do have to give him props.

4. Are any of your children named after someone in the family? If so, who?
No. I would not allow something like that. I don't want that kind of pressure. And some names are just ugly.

I've seen friends being forced to put family names on their babies. I've seen friends being forced NOT to use ethnic names on their children because the white part of the family didn't want that. Do not get me started.

5. If you could rename your children, what names would you pick?
I would not re-name my children. I love the names they have because I chose them. I would however re-pronounced my son's name how I wanted to do it in the first place but felt weird about it. His name is David. I wanted it pronounced. in an Israel pronunciation.

 6. Do you consider yourself a concrastinator or procrastinator or somewhere in-between?
I am somewhere in between. I work them out just fine.  Most times anyway.

7. Do you live by a to-do list?
No...not really. Maybe sometimes I need something important to be reminded of. Then I'll make a list.

8. What's the one to-do list thing you HAVE to do today?
I had to start laundry. I did.

9. What is your favorite Magazine to read?
I don't have a favorite magazine. I just read them if they are present.

10. How often do you shave your legs?
Rarely. I hate shaving. I get the itch and these godawful bumps that I just despise the process. I just wish I was a hairless legs and arms gal like some peeps, but I'm like a monkey. ugh.

11. Do you tweeze your own eyebrows?
No. Why should I? I like the real brows. Why pull them out and pencil them in?

12. Who takes the trash to the curb at your house?
Me. 99% of the time. Once my husband did it and I freaked out. I thought they stole our bin. It's the weirdest thing and I still find it funny how I freaked.


About the author: Owner of JamericanSpice. Sharing my journey in the present, from the past or thoughts for my future. Mom of two who loves to travel and read and decipher people.
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1 comment :

  1. You are so fascinating. I would not change a thing about you. My grands have some very unique names. I am part of the "white" side of my family (lol) but I love their uniqueness. I just do not want it to cause the children problems when they hand in their resumes to get jobs. Silly? It is so sad that we have to concern ourselves with biases.


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