Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)


I Give a Firm One - Aloha

When I got home yesterday I saw a well dressed to boot man entering my neighbors driveway. I watched for a few seconds. It's those things you do for neighbors...and sometimes you can tell strange people. Not that I knew if he was a stranger.  I just kinda felt it.

Within the hour, someone was at my door knocking. It was the same man. Very nice looking and friendly. Just the right type for sales and depression later at home.

He shook my hand.

I gave him a firm one.

His was weak.  Why?

Does he expect a woman not to give a firm handshake?  Or is this just who he is? Doesn't he know about the character behind a firm grip?  or the hearsay character?

Anyway, we chatted for a while as he told me about his investment firm and blah blah blah be met by my reply (because I can always blame the husband), that my husband is the one who handles the financial matter and he isn't present at the moment. Well it's not a lie, he does handle it and does it rather well, despite some major flaws.

And after the conversation, he reached out again to shake my hand. This time it was a firm grip from him. Just right and not bone crushing. I think he realized that I do know something about the firm hand dos :)

That was a quick readjustment.

I've noticed that many men don't give a firm handshake. But maybe they do, but they just don't think women do :)

So as a female do you give a firm handshake?
Do you expect one?

Male: Same as above.

Me. I'll bone crush your tiny little nubs, so bring it!
Not that I like touching people's hands *ew* but if I am offered, then yes  I'll bone crush you!


About the author: Owner of JamericanSpice. Sharing my journey in the present, from the past or thoughts for my future. Mom of two who loves to travel and read and decipher people.
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  1. Yes, I always give a firm handshake too! I hate those little wimpy ones.

  2. Funny you should ask ;-) I give a firm one when I need to. I do expect one and almost judge a new acquaintance's sincerity by the way he shakes my hand too.

  3. Very interesting post. I need to improve on my handshake Colette! LOL

  4. I Colette ~~ This is a nice post about handshakes. I used shake firmly but now after getting older and having some arthritis I shake like a wimp, if at all. One can get germs that way you know?

  5. I always try to give a firm handshake. I hate when I get the dead fish hand shake. I wonder why they even bothered. BUT I do have to say I almost tend to shy away from shaking hands these days with all the germs going around.

  6. Yes, I give a firm handshake...
    Yes, I expect a firm one in return...
    Yes, I do form impressions based on the handshakes I receive!

    Great post! :-)

    Create With Joy

  7. Yes, I always give a firm handshake.

  8. Mine's pretty firm. I'm not a fan of the noodle shake.

  9. Interesting questions this week!

    1) I gave a firm hand sake, not bone crushing, but a normal hand-sake.

    2) I do like the same level of hand sake too, one that really means to shake your hand and not fake!

  10. Oh yes, I'm definitely a firm hand-shaker! ;)

    The Bee Incident

  11. For me it depends on who it is :)

  12. The way I was raised was you take care of yourself because no one is going to do it for you. Men try to be intimidating most of the time, so I've always had a firm handshake to let them know just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I cannot take care of myself because there isn't anything a man can do for me that I can't do better.

  13. I am a firm shaker. I loathe limp dead fish hand shakes and I tend to judge men, not so much women, by their hand shaking abilities. LOL

  14. That is why I don't answer the door any more. Well, that and my barking dogs.
    I do believe in a firm handshake- you only get one chance to make a first impression.

    Enjoy your weekend!

  15. Yes, I like to give a firm handshake!

  16. lol, i am all about a firm one .... always have been

  17. Yes, I definitely have a firm handshake. I worked in sales and service for an insurance broker for several years. I was constantly in meetings with insurance people and clients and made sure I had a firm handshake. Made me feel like I would be taken seriously in a "man's world"

  18. "Yes, I'll bone crush you." LOL

    You know, I haven't quite given this question any thought; I just shake hands. I'll have to pay attention to my grip next time and see which one I fall under :)


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