Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)
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Sunday, January 27, 2013

I Wasn't Done Praying!

The husband ticked me off today. Well he did and then he left so I didn't get to lash out. I admit I might have lashed out if I had met up with him. I didn't.

Short version:
He said, "let's go".

I told him I was going to brush my teeth and wash my face and change my clothes. Why on earth would he think I would want to go out in public looking like a run over rat?

*Shakes head*

So I go to get ready and of course add a touch of lipgloss and a dab of foundation. He comes knocking, getting irritated that I wasn't yet ready to go.

Then left! YES HE LEFT!

But we were going to the vehicle inspection place to change our tags etc, so I knew where it was and oooh I was going to meet him!

Turns out the place was closed.
I drove home. I thought I should keep him spiked in my heart and secretly resent him. The other wolf says, "only you hurt when you do that sorta thing Colette".
"Why not just let it go? Forgive him".

Y'all know those two wolves right?

"NO! I can't." I screamed to myself. "Okay I'll pray so God will help me forgive him and let it go".

Then he came home as I was uttering the first war words to God.
I lashed. (Maybe if he was silent, I wouldn't have, but he actually dared to speak to me)

I was not done praying!


So when he showed up, it was the wrong time! Sarcasm came a dripping and I'm sure it was tinged with major disrespect.

He wanted us to go to another place. Off we went. Ooh I was still burning up! After all, he interrupted my plea for help with forgiving him.

I usually use music to calm me down.  I think it was a good thing we were in different vehicles. Very good thing.

After the vehicle inspection. I was calm.
During the inspections, I had taken the time to pray and re-focus. I figure, why make him feel that I'm still angry. I am praying. I will forgive this and store it away and move on.

He asked me if I was okay? I asked him why would I not be okay?

We chatted a bit:
Then I explained that he was rude in how he behaved. I also explained to him, that it is  a good thing to have a wife who will put herself together before going out in public or would he rather feel odd walking beside me?

I explained the need for women to have warning ahead of time before an outing and that we do need time to look our best.

He said he thought it was rude of me to keep him waiting.

I also explained to him that he came home in the middle of my praying and asking God to help me forgive him and that is why I lashed out.
He said, "I forgive you."
We laughed. Shook hands and went our separate ways.

I felt free. It is good to forgive. I also felt that if anything should happen (God forbid), we had parted ways in love and not hostility.

I promise, I'm not always like that. I'm usually one to blow up and then give the silent treatment for quite a long time. But doing that doesn't change him or me.
I want to change me.
I will with God's help.

Y'all many Christians are not just hypocrites, we are just on a journey and we still battle the wolves inside us.

So send a prayer. Heal a friend.

Do you struggle with forgiveness? 
Do you give the silent treatment to someone who hurt or irritate you? 


Colette is a busy mom of 2 kids focusing solely on being a mom. She hails from the Caribbean and now balances the full life of being a SAHM and dabbling in odd jobs to help around the home. She enjoys sharing her memories, hopes, food, travel, entertainment, and product experiences on her blog. Please read my disclosure 
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10 comments:

  1. I love this story! Every husband and wife out there can relate, and you guys resolved a tiff fast, so that's true testament to your commitment to one another (and doing God's will). Loved your post!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Rosey :)
      It's definitely a journey!

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  2. Colette, you resolved this very nicely. I am glad it turned out well.

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  3. Communication and praying are the perfect way to get through life and definitely needed for marriage :)

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    1. Thank you Lucy!

      YES! Lots of praying ;)

      Delete
  4. Oh man, I would have been seeing red! I can't say if I would have been as calm, cool, and collected as you were Big Sis. I'm usually one that lets things fester and try to talk myself through it until I'm fine unless I KNOW I have a right to be angry, which if that's the case, I let whomever have it!

    But I agree, it always feels like a relief when things can be talked out and resolved in an adult manner :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you sis.

      I'm usually a blowfire :) I'm trying to change and let God lead my heart.

      Delete
  5. Oh... If my hub's just "left me" He'd be in the dog house for at least a week... :) You handled it well... Good Job!

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I appreciate your thoughts - Colette

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