I can't even tell if I"m exhausted or not. We just drove in yesterday afternoon from Montana. It was quite a trip.
We visited with family for the Thanksgiving. It was more for all the children and spouses and cousins to be in the very same place to celebrate with their father/grandfather who is ill.
It was amazing to get so many people in the very same place at the same time.
I'm glad we were able to go, even though in the beginning, I was thinking, staying home alone and with quiet sounded much more relaxing and less stressful.
Back to our single family reality. The Friday, November 20, before we left, I was in a vehicle accident. I still cannot understand why we are alive. We were hit straight to the side BAM! The driver door and passenger door behind the driver seat, cannot open or shut. My son was with me.
We are okay. But for a bit of headache that eventually went away.
All week, all I can do is replay it in my mind over and over and over and constantly and I cannot for the life of me, understand why I didn't do the normal things I ALWAYS take caution to do and even talk to my children about how important they are while driving.
I should have looked again. And I should have signalled.
It's my husband's truck. I think he is grieving because he does love the truck. When he came to the scene, he seemed so sad and almost angry.
I didn't get a hug or anything until awhile later when it was all wrapped up and we drove home.
Plus that was the vehicle that was serviced and ready to take us on the long trip to Montana. So I can only imagine his disappointment.
He did say, he wished it was the car (we have a very old car), but I said, if it was the car, we would have been dead.....quite possibly.
If my son was not with me, I'd wish it was the car too. Just so he could have had his truck.
It's amazing how quickly he jumped in to re-plan everything. Talking to the insurance company, arranging a rental car for our trip and all the other little details, I'd have floundered over. I hope insurance will cover the fix and also ensure we have a rental for him to use, even though our trip is over.
I am thankful for his help and care.
Sometimes, I wonder if I'm in the afterlife, but then I realize, the afterlife is not like this life, so it would be different.
It's just so hard to believe we were not hurt or killed. It was such a terribly hard hit. I think my brain jiggled.
Anyway, now to do insurance and ensure medical help for the others if they have other hurts. Which they did say no, and then have changed their minds.
I think our premiums will go up. I hate that.
I simply wish I was working to help with this situation. I feel boarded down and rather helpless.
And I'm still so hard on myself. Me the super cautious driver. I just can't understand why I didn't look again....signalled...just can't shake it from my mind.
What control does one really have over life and it's circumstances.
I will simply try to be thankful that we are alive and that we can help with insurance and medical needs.
I will simply try to be thankful. But something feels very odd to me and I just can't grasp it or explain it.
Do share how your Thanksgiving was.
Enjoy the new week and feel it's blessings.
When I walk through deep waters
I know that You will be with me
When I'm standing in the fire
I will not be overcome
Through the valley of the shadow
I will not fear
I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me
In the midst of deep sorrow
I see Your light is breaking through
The dark of night will not overtake me
I am pressing into You
Lord, You fight my every battle
And I will not fear
You amaze me
You call me as Your own
You're my strength
You're my defender
You're my refuge in the storm
Through these trials
You've always been faithful
You bring healing to my soul
Maybe I can do that eh....
Colette is a busy mom of 2 kids focusing solely on being a mom. She hails from the Caribbean and now balances the full life of being a SAHM and dabbling in odd jobs to help around the home. She enjoys sharing her memories, hopes, food, travel, entertainment, and product experiences on her blog. Please read my disclosure