I had surgery on Thursday.
I am home now recuperating. I am not able to drive or lift or do much for the next couple weeks.
I've been able to get the kids on the school bus, and I'm not sure what will happen during the next week, but I can feel that I am healing each day.
I hope to be up and around soon and also that my doctor will give me the go ahead. It's really tough as a parent to be down and out.
Please pray for me.
What I learned this week:
When I've been wounded - Forgiveness
The kinds of wounds we need to idenfity and forgive are always personal, unfair and deep.
Some wounds need a bandaid and some wounds need surgery. We struggle with forgiving the deep wounds done to us.
In order to forgive some evil thing done to you. You cannot excuse it. You cannot just tolerate it. You cannot just bury or smother it.
You have to look the evil straight in the face. You have to call it what it is. You have to let the horror of it shock and enrage you and only then can you get to forgiveness.
As Christians we try to be nice and we don't call it what it is. Which means we never fully get around to forgiveness, and we lead these subpar lives with the undercurrent of conflict.
We have to find the way of forgiveness to live freely.
2. We have to choose to forgive
You either forgive freely or not at all.
Forgiveness is not covering it up and pretending it was no big deal, or assuming that if I leave it alone, it will get better from the "time heals all wounds" kind of idea.
Forgiveness is not excusing and understanding why people do something.
Forigiveness is NOT the same thing as trust.
You can forgive someone without welcoming them back into your life in a place of trust. You have to see change character before trust can be earned again.
The problem with forgiveness is that most of the time we do NOT feel like forgiving. Most times our feelings follow our actions. We choose to forgive. If we wait until we feel like forgiving, we'll never ever forgive those deep wounds given to us by others.
3. I have to release God's new heart inside me.
When you trust Jesus as your saviour, Jesus moves inside you. You now have the nature of God inside you. God has given you his character so that you want what he wants. You do not have to generate it, you have to release it.
Every follower of Christ who has crossed the line of faith, and received Jesus Christ has received a heart transplant. Your old stony heart has been replaced. Your old desires are replaced with God's desires. At the deepest and truest, the most real part of you is the God part that longs for what God longs for.
You don't have to muscle up forgiveness. You need to release the God's forgiveness that is already there within you.
The deepest, truest, best part of you that God has placed there actually wants to forgive and to make it right. The reason it does is because the heart of God is about reconciliation and your heart longs for that.
4. I need to look for God's hand in my life.
God never wastes a wound. There is nothing that comes to you that isn't filter through his love. He did not cause it. He hates it because it's evil, but he has a way of taking that which is terrible and turning it on it's head so that it becomes something incredible. He reverses the worse.
If you have some horrible wound. God has not abandoned you. God has not forsaken you. In the darkest moments of deepest pain, God is right there. Jesus understands because he received wounds that are way deeper than ours. He gets the pain we experience and he lives inside us to enable and call you and give you the desire to forgive and be set free.
Forgiveness is not helping them, it's helping us.
Who do you need to forgive.
Colette is a busy mom of 2 kids focusing solely on being a mom. She hails from the Caribbean and now balances the full life of being a SAHM and dabbling in odd jobs to help around the home. She enjoys sharing her memories, hopes, food, travel, entertainment, and product experiences on her blog. Please read my disclosure