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4/17/16

Processing Grief - Though You Slay Me - 4Ms - #Music Speaks Tears

Today was odd. I was in church and almost broke down crying. I felt so heavy all day, as if to break.

I am assuming it has to do with the process of grieving.

My husband's father had cancer. One day he was robust and on the go always and the next, he was slammed to the ground with cancer and never got up.

He died on Thursday April 7th.  My SIL called and told her brother.

I didn't think it would hit me. I thought I wasn't close enough to him. But it did and I bawled. I am processing it all.



I don't want to be afraid of death and I want to believe that he is safe in heaven, but I can't help but feel afraid just a little.

I think most of my fear comes from lack of love and security. Or maybe that is just how life is.

My FIL has been married to his wife for 44 years. She has not being handling him being sick well. She is devastated. She was praying for a miracle. I don't know how she feels. I wont be able to help her, but there are lots of family members and I hope they understand, she must not be alone now.

Just writing this, makes me want to cry. Which means I'm not far removed at all.

We really do not know how things will affect us until they do.

Now I have to deal with my husband in mourning. Men mourn very differently. I pray he will give himself time to process his grief and not stuff it away. I will give him space and still be near.

He seems logical, but grief does not tolerate logic.

Cancer is a cruel evil, but God is good. All the time.


So, for my Father In Law whom I wished I had more time with. To whom I wish I could have said thank you. To whom I wish I could have sit and talked to  just a little bit. Whose voice I'll always remember. Whose strength of a big family....made me wish I had known my own father.
A father in law whom I wished my children got to play with more, so they could have more of him and he of them.
A Father in law, who went bye, as I was praying that he would not be afraid of death.


Thank you.

Thank you for walking me down the aisle. Thank you for welcoming me into your family.





I come, God, I come
I return to the Lord
The one who’s broken
The one who’s torn me apart
You strike down to bind me up
You say you do it all in love
That I might know you in your suffering

Though you slay me
Yet I will praise you
Though you take from me
I will bless your name
Though you ruin me
Still I will worship
Sing a song to the one who’s all I need

My heart and flesh may fail
The earth below give way
But with my eyes, with my eyes I’ll see the Lord
Lifted high on that day
Behold, the Lamb that was slain
And I’ll know every tear was worth it all

Though you slay me
Yet I will praise you
Though you take from me
I will bless your name
Though you ruin me
Still I will worship
Sing a song to the one who’s all I need

Though tonight I’m crying out
Let this cup pass from me now
You’re still more than I need
You’re enough for me
You’re enough for me

[Not only is all your affliction momentary, not only is all your affliction light in comparison to eternity and the glory there. But all of it is totally meaningful. Every millisecond of your pain, from the fallen nature or fallen man, every millisecond of your misery in the path of obedience is producing a peculiar glory you will get because of that.

I don’t care if it was cancer or criticism. I don’t care if it was slander or sickness. It wasn’t meaningless. It’s doing something! It’s not meaningless. Of course you can’t see what it’s doing. Don’t look to what is seen.

When your mom dies, when your kid dies, when you’ve got cancer at 40, when a car careens into the sidewalk and takes her out, don’t say, “That’s meaningless!” It’s not. It’s working for you an eternal weight of glory.

Therefore, therefore, do not lose heart. But take these truths and day by day focus on them. Preach them to yourself every morning. Get alone with God and preach his word into your mind until your heart sings with confidence that you are new and cared for.]

Though you slay me
Yet I will praise you
Though you take from me
I will bless your name
Though you ruin me
Still I will worship
Sing a song to the one who’s all I need
Sing a song to the one who’s all I need



Welcome to today's music.  I hope Monday find you with a smile and music to begin your week with light steps. 
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Colette is a busy mom of 2 kids focusing solely on being a mom. She hails from the Caribbean and now balances the full life of being a SAHM and dabbling in odd jobs to help around the home. She enjoys sharing her memories, hopes, food, travel, entertainment, and product experiences on her blog. Please read my disclosure 
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23 comments :

  1. So sorry for your loss. Prayers are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry to read about your father-in-law

    My sympathy to you and your family

    ReplyDelete
  3. Definitely sorry for you loss my dearest friend, but now I'm sure you have a guardian angel that will watch over you and your little ones. Watching out for his grandchildren will be a pleasure to him I'm sure. Be happy for him that he is with the Lord and not in pain, and now you have an Angel on your side. Amen. Beautiful song my dear friend. HUGS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. Very happy for him to be with the Lord. I must be.
      The missing is also hard.
      Thank you sweet Doll! *HUGS*

      Delete
  4. Oh, and one more thing to not be afraid of death for you will be in the arms of the Lord. I too feared death, but not death itself. I fear dying alone. I made Dave promise me that if at all possible I would want him to be there with me and he promised so I don't feel that afraid anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think maybe that's it.
      the alone.

      He wasn't alone though and I hope he realized how much loved he was.

      Thank you Marie.
      Your Dave is a wonderful man. God bless him.

      Delete
  5. Very sorry for your loss. It's tough losing anyone.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sending much sympathy for your loss. Prayers for you and your family.
    twinkle at optonline dot net

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am so very sorry for your loss. Praying for you all during this time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Noelle. *HUGS* I appreciate it

      Delete
  8. You said your thank you here. I hope it brought you some relief. Your tribute is touching. And you're right, men surely do display grief and loss differently than us women folk. I've seen it time and again. Prayers all around, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  9. When you marry, you marry the entire family. Their joys and sorrows become yours. So sorry for your loss. My FIL has altheimers, and that's been quite a challenge, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Joyce. Thank you and I'm sorry for your FIL's degeneration of health also.
      It is definitely hard to process.

      Delete
  10. Oooooh Callie. I'm so very sorry for your loss. And like Marie said, you now have another guardian angel who will look out for you and your hubby and kids. :) Will definitely keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. ((HUGZ!!))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Stacy.
      I appreciate your care. *HUGS*

      Delete
  11. Callie, once again my friend my deepest condolences to you and your family. I hope everything is going as well as to be expected for this time of need. You're always in my heart and thoughts, and most of all my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Marie. *HUGS* I'll update soon

      Delete

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