Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)


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Colette is a busy mom of 2 kids focusing solely on being a mom. She hails from the Caribbean and now balance the full life of being a SAHM and dabbling in odd jobs to help around the home. She enjoys sharing her memories, hopes, food, travel, entertainment, and product experiences on her blog. Please read my disclosure 
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It is your right. It will change your life


Are You For or Are You Of?

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave; its flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame.
Song of Solomon 8:6

New Christians may be puzzled when they read in the Ten Commandments that "the Lord your God, [is] a jealous God" (Exodus 20:5). "I thought jealousy was a bad thing. How can a good God have a bad trait like jealousy?" they wonder. It's a good question—with a good answer.

You can be jealous for or of. To be jealous for someone is a good thing. To be jealous of someone is a bad thing. And that determination is made by whose interests you have at heart. If you are jealous for another person, that means you want the best for them. You want to protect them and love them, which explains why God is a jealous God: He is jealous for us because He loves us so much. But if you are jealous of someone, you have your own self-interest at heart; you love yourself more than you love another person. And that's a bad thing. Instead of being jealous of another's success, for instance, you should be rejoicing with them (Romans 12:15).

If you are jealous, make sure you are jealous for, not jealous of. If you love the way God loves, your jealousy will be like His.

The jealousy of God is nothing else but the vehemence and ardor of his paternal love.
John Calvin

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No one should get this call either

A few days or maybe a week or more. I know it was before last Wednesday, we were at the apartment packing up and loading the car for another run home. My husband decided to just load the car full and go and then he would come back for us.

So I continued to pack things up and clean while the kids played in the other rooms. It was mostly empty...just little things that needed to go.

Less than five minutes of him driving off I frantically got on my phone to call him because I realized someone had pooped and I needed my handbag in the car that had emergency diapers and wipes. (This is why I always have my bag and these are the times he says oh it's not necessary to take it with you).

The stupid phone suddenly didn't have any network. We've never had this problem at our apartment before. I called rapidly 3 or 4 times and nothing. I stopped. I was ticked.

He called me about 6 - 10 minutes after and I told him that I needed the diapers...he said he was already half way home. So I said ok, we'll wait.

Five minutes again he called to say he just got in an accident. I was surprised at myself. I felt the most intense anger ever and took a kids bat and smashed a box until I started to cry. That was after I found out if he was alright and he said he was ok and it was a rear end hit and many cars involved and he has to go real quick.

I do not want to feel this way again.

He was alright. His neck was a bit stiff and uncomfortable for a few days but he is fine.

He was stopped behind two cars. The front one was making a left turn. Two other cars came speeding up behind them. One swerve like mad to miss my husband (that would not have been a good hit) after he was hit. The woman that hit him then continue to hit my husband and ran off the road into mailboxes and the sort. Her car was totaled.
The guy who swerved to not hit my husband went ahead and hit the family in the car making the left turn. (They had two children in their vehicle).
The husband hit the other guy in front of him, but there's pretty much no damage to his front of the guys bumper...just paint transfer.
Five cars involved. No fatalities. Thank God. Two went to the hospital. Some cars were towed away. The police and ambulance were right there a few feet away tending another accident so they just came over to the next scene.

Our car is in the shop. It doesn't look terribly bad, but the insurance guy(Not sure if it's an insurance guy or just an appraiser) from her company that came out to look at it said the damages were worth more than the car. We don't believe that( we don't think the price to fix it will be that expensive). Our car is so good. It would have served another 10 years easy.
She lapsed on her premiums or something and so they are saying we'll have to sue her to get whatever she should have paid on our car if she had insurance. Now to think of going to court and all the wait and fees does not seem worth it to us.
It's so frustrating. I want to get so angry because it's not our fault and yet it's we are paying for what she did.

We got a rental because our insurance said they'd reimburse us.

Now we are told they might not reimburse us as our coverage is comprehensive or something of the sort and blah blah so it covers collision and bodily harm etc...not when someone else hit us or something of the sort.. So dh wants to take the rental back in and buy a truck that we wont have to pay for now for at least two years so financially that would help a bit. I just worry that we shouldn't buy anything else right now you know. We are dry financially. And I know we'll not have to pay anything for two years, but still it adds up you know. Our fridge and bed is already on the frigging CC. I'm about to panic about this. I don't like CC's I

I agree with both buying a vehicle and taking the rental back in because I really don't go anywhere except church on Sundays , small group on Wednesdays and Bible study on Thursdays. These are important, but I'm sure they'll work out. He has his company car so he doesn't have to worry about work. Of course I don't want to be left without a vehicle, but what if we only had one vehicle anyway.

It's just all getting so frustrating.

These are some interesting points I thought of though and I'm just so grateful that my husband is alright.

1. He got hit on the side that the baby car seat was. He had just taken the baby car seat around that morning and put the new toddler seat in. My baby girl would have been sitting right there. I could cry now just thinking about that.

2. If the stupid phone had worked. he would have gotten my call just out the entrance of the apartment and just gone down the other entrance (the apartment has four entrances) and return with my bag so I could get the diapers...and maybe missed that accident.

I'm just so thankful that he is alright. Just all the pressures at work and dealing with the insurances and all of that is really hard on him right now.

So well thanks for reading and just keep us in prayers.

I will attach some photos : This is a hanger that he opened and used it to tie the bumper up so he could drive it home after the accident.

The trunk still works


Definitely put things into perspective

 Galatians 1:13-16

NIV For you have heard of my previous way of life in Judaism, how intensely I persecuted the church of God and tried to destroy it. I was advancing in Judaism beyond many Jews of my own age and was extremely zealous for the traditions of my fathers. But when God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not consult any man,
As Paul is recounting his past as a Christian bounty hunter he turns everything on its head by verse 15. He talks of the God who set him apart from his birth! How can this be? Paul is looking at his history now from a new lens: the power of the cross. The shame of his past now becomes the qualifier for his future.

The gospel gives us a new perspective on our yesterdays, which creates the roadmap for our tomorrows.

Today's commentary by: Dave Whitehead, Senior Pastor,

What do you think? Discussion at:

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The Anger Virus

The Anger Virus
A wrathful man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger allays contention.
Proverbs 15:18

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Fears of a global flu pandemic have rekindled memories of the terrible 1918 epidemic in which a virulent strain of influenza infected a third of the world's population and killed an estimated 50 to 100 million people. Some researchers believe the flu spread so quickly that year because of soldiers who, already weakened from fatigue, were traveling across national and geographical boundaries during the waning months of World War I.

Studying the communicable effects of disease teaches us something about spiritual illness, too. Spiritual viruses and emotional maladies spread person to person just like germs and viruses. According to Proverbs 15:18, angry people spread their anger wherever they go. The words influenza and influence, after all, come from the same root word.

But the cure spreads person-to-person, too! We can reverse the anger of those around us by staying cool and calm, gentle and patient. Whatever our emotions—joy, anger, depression, anxiety—they infect those near us.  This is one of the Christian's great secrets. When we're filled with the calming strength of the Spirit, we can improve whatever environment we find ourselves in.

Your lifestyle is your most powerful message.
John MacArthur

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What do you stand up for?

Join the fight against the second leading cause of death among children by acknowledging National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month this September. Show your support by attending an event put on by St. Baldrick’s, a fundraising organization for childhood cancer research. The group runs cancer awareness events across the country in which volunteers shave their heads in exchange for monetary donations. Even if you are unable to attend an event, remember that this September 13th is National Childhood Cancer Awareness Day and support the national effort to find a cure. According to Senator Hillary Clinton, the day is “an opportunity to reach out to all Americans with the facts about childhood cancer, and…an important symbol for our commitment on all days to find a cure.”



I'm back loves

We spent a few days at husband’s friend and co-worker’s house. It was alright. They gave us the whole upstairs loft of their home. It took some adjustment with the kids but it was alright…..but then again no where is better than home. By today (Wednesday) I was about to pull my hair out with stress talking to the kids so much trying to reign them in so they wouldn’t break everything in sight which did not belong to us!
Everyone adore the kids...but I'm sure if they were ill-mannered and left to run untethered, they'd change their minds pretty fast too.

I’ve never wanted to be dumb…but oh goodbar! I cannot believe that wish escaped my lips. And then I realize that I would look like a raving mad woman just making gestures with my arms and awful frightening looks on my face. I've just never have to talk so damn much! I need a pill or drink or smoke and it's a burning desire to get one or the other.

They are very welcoming people but the minute I got there I was wiping down stuff with antibacterial wet ones etc. shhh don’t tell. I’m a germophobe….and really I’m not that bad but sometimes I just can’t help it.

Lights went out Monday night during a nasty diaper change….THAT is NOT good. I commanded the girl to keep her hands up and continued to wipe like a pro. The dh came by with flashlight…then the lights came back so I could wash her butt. I consoled myself that it didn’t matter. I’d still get to wash my hands since water would still be there.

We were able to have dinner and watch a little tv before it went all together. We got our flashlights out which the boy child loved and couldn’t stop pressing the on and off button. He was so glad to get the go ahead to use this thing.
We went to bed early. Everyone slept nude. It was like a sleeping in a steam room.

Spent the day without electricity but sometime in the afternoon, our host turned on the generator. WOOT

We tried to get as much news as possible about home, but as usually the reporters were in the wrong part of town and tried to play up a blown off shingle as best as they could sell. They only focuses on New Orleans and if NO was fine then I guess the rest of the state was fine. F’ing idiots.

On our way home today we could see some of the damages. Cops everywhere. Seems many roads not accessible. I’m sure our local news will help fill in the blanks that the national reporters didn’t care to report or just wasn’t present to.

And Oh my goodness!!! On the drive home some lunatic almost ran us off the road. Dh who is a skilled driver almost ran him in the ditch but decided it wasn’t worth it. We are in the left lane trying to pass a doublewide (you know those big trucks) when lunatic came roaring up in the right lane…so we pass wide truck and then lunatic came zooming up on our butt. Dh decide to move over to right to let lunatic  pass and I guess lunatic decided go to the right and pass us anyway/ deciding we were too slow @ 90mph. Bear in mind we are going 90mph! WHAT idiots went to the right the same time we did and thank God for shoulders because that’s where they ended up and dh laying on the horn and would not budge meaning they would have ended up in the ditch.

They proceded to jump tight traffic like the morons they are and of course pissing other people off too and still we always catch up to them and it was as if they were running away or wanting us to hit them so we called in their tags.
They continued to be morons but dropped back when it started to rain cats and dogs….hmmm I guess they are only dry weather drivers after all eh. We passed them slowing to a crawl in the right lane with their emergency lights flashing.

Faded into the rain.

Question? Do you wash stuff like bedding and clean everything up before you leave wherever you stayed as a guest? Say a friend’s home? I do. I tried to wash all the bedding (remember we sweated on them the night and day because there was no air) and wanted to vacuum. (Kids and snacks leave crumbs everywhere) and would not leave the kitchen sink with dirty plates…dh thought it wasn’t necessary that I do that. He really need to remember who I am in the core. I cannot leave someone’s house a mess from me or my family. I have to clean up. So I put the sheets and blankets in the wash and cleaned up the loft and folded everything. Emptied the trash, washed all the dishes etc. Then he said the host husband said it wasn’t necessary to do all that because we might be back for Hurricane Ike anyway.. True but let the host say so. I will not leave mess behind.

We got home safe and I’m so glad to be home! I can walk around nude and give my kids a bath and eat what I want and when and gosh I know you understand what I feel. Home is just sweet . And it says so on a lamp too J

I’m so glad we are safe though….I mean so many things could have gone wrong. I’m sure there are to many things that happened that I’ve left out…but ask away or here.

Sooooo glad to be back. Now someone needs to buy me a laptop so that I don’t lose my mind next time I have to go to *I can't say podunk* next time I have to run away.
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3am party

The husband and I had a wonderful talk. We talked for almost two hours. It was about everything and then some and now I feel refreshed like I've been swimming.....I even have the feeling of water in my nose. Weird I know.

He is my man. I want to make him my friend on the deepest level....Now if only we had more precious talk times like this together.

I'm a complicated being he thinks and he thought he knew me but realizes there's so much more under there. That should keep the challenge up right :)

This is good. Your karma went up love
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Married Single Parent

Right now I'm so mad I could chew on brick. I honestly would not choose to be a single parent and the fact that I didn't but is ending up being one every single day is making me want to flip a switch.
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I hate when this affects me so much. I've already been through a phase where it made me so mad for many months that I could feel my body turn sick green inside with anger. I eventually let it go completely and decided to accept being a single parent in he best way I could, until things would work out better. After all, one has to have hope that things will get better. It was working great......but there at times when the frustration of it all set in and I just do not want to accept that because it is not so and it makes me into an exploding poo ball.

I hate all the frustrations and the crying and how angry I am/get?

This is when I need a chillpill/more prayer/perspective etc. This is what will drive me to buy that bottle I've been thinking about getting for the past two years. Ugh then I wont drink it anyway. I have no taste for alcohol!!

Yes I'm extremely upset.

Journey out of this box ....

...of an apartment.

Last night we made an offer on a house.

We have looked at hundreds of homes online and about 15 open houses with our Realtor. We had a list and our (DH and me) top four were the same.

Our # 1 was the same so we discussed it and the house looks great and we made an offer. We are now waiting on the seller's response.

I'm exhausted and just drained. I should be excited...I think I feel that way, but I'm just blah.
I'm still a bit worried about the finances falling into place, but dh seems to think it will all work out.
We live in a box right now and would not invite anyone over as we have nothing to eat on or sit on and it's just too small, so we need to move and it's about time.

I've waited
four years...(lots more in away)....and suffered through huge debt (courtesy of the male) and finally it seems we'll have a home for our family. Space for the kids to play. Sigh.

At first there were some in office problems with the realtors, but we've gotten a really good/nice one and for that I thank God.

I would want more yard space and would have LOVED a cul-de-sac, but you gotta compromise sometime on some things....

I cannot wait to move! This is a dream ....about to come through.

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